Tonight I found out that my parents gave my first dog away because she smelt. When I was 7 they told me we had to give her back to her original owners because they had lost her and contacted the Humane Society and the Humane Society told them to contact us to see if they could have her back. I have never had a close relationship with a dog since because I was scarred. What kind of parents tell their child that? Mom and Dad, you guys suck.
Inspiration
At night I think about so many different things. I think the time I’m most inspired to write is between 1 and 4 in the morning. Everything is quiet and my mind is finally focused on my thoughts. I picture future movie scenes I should write down, but I just play them over and over in my head until they are engraved. Pursuing film is something I’m passionate about. I watch movies now and can’t even really enjoy them because I’m so consumed in the directors camera angle choices. I find passion in wanting to produce and direct. I can’t wait to make a great career out of something I whole-heartedly love.
Nyquil Problems
I’m just going to throw out the fact that I took Nyquil exactly 34 minutes ago and not shit is happening. So I have come to the conclusion that I am immune to medicine and/or I am a superhero. Honestly, both sound about right, but seriously Nyquil fucking do your job, put my ass to sleep.
Book Talk
You know that feeling when a book just completely captures your heart? It’s like you finally feel connected to something for the first time. Any emotion the book holds becomes your emotions and putting down the book is not even a question. You stay up every night, eyes burning, but it’s okay because you have become apart of the characters lives. Isn’t that just the best feeling?
Some Random Thoughts
I had this dream last night. There was someone in the dream I do not know. I can see the outline of their face and I remember green eyes, but I remember nothing else. Sometimes I think is this person going to end up being in my future or was it just a figment of my imagination, something my mind created from scrape. If they do end up being in my life somewhere down the line, am I going to remember them from the dream? Do they play any significance, or is there no importance to their appearance in my dream?
Learning Something New Everyday.
I like to learn. I like to learn all different kinds of things. Did you know that once all your cells divide until there is no more division you will die? That seriously fascinates me. Doctors can cure someone that has rickets, so that they will be able to walk, astonishing. I’m not even going to get into the brain because that is far too unbelievable. I’m okay with being interested in cells, DNA, and the cerebellum because that’s what grabs my interest and it makes me thirst for knowledge.
Thoughts
This morning I was thinking about people in comas. I was wondering if they dream. If they do dream, do their dreams feel like reality? If they don’t dream, do their souls at least get to venture off for some time until they wake up? Then it gets fucking confusing. What if their brain-dead? They technically are still living, but their brain has no functions, no thoughts, no nothing, but their soul is still alive, so is it trapped inside of their body dying to get out, or does it get to be free and wander around until they die.
26 Letters
That is all you need, and you will be able to say anything you ever wanted.
There is so much information in this world. The thought of one brain storing up so much knowledge scares me. I think back to when I was 8 and N’SYNC was playing on my CD Player. Twelve years later I still remember every word to “Bye, Bye, Bye.” How is it possible to remember something from so long ago. Everyday of my life doesn’t consist of me re-singing “Bye, Bye, Bye” so how is it possible that this organ is able to hold onto knowledge from so long ago? I imagine what my brain will hold onto when I am forty, I imagine file cabinets, upon file cabinets of knowledge all hanging out in my cerebellum. This is totally mind-blowing to me.
12:00
Those final seconds before the countdown begins are the most exciting. As another year ends, another beings. 5 seconds: You think about this past year, the ups, the downs, and all the space in between, 4 seconds: you have faith, faith that this next year will be different from the last, 3 seconds: your life flashes in front of you, you see your friends and family; you see love. 2 seconds, 1 second: you feel the energy in the room shift and the hope of those around you become clear, you see the dreams, the possibilities, the changes, the struggles, the laughter, the tears, the heartache that this next year may bring, and you know that no matter what, this year will be different from the last because you are surrounded by love, by passion, by friends, and by family, and in that moment you truly do have it all.
Happy New Year.
Words.
It amazes me that words have the ability to be so beautiful, but at the same time have the ability to be so ugly. Words are hypocrites. One moment words are building you up, and then the next tearing you down. All words have the ability to make your eyes water, make your mind think, and make your heart hurt. Whether it is a good hurt or bad hurt words are extremely powerful. I like words that make my heart feel, my lips smile, and my mind be open to love.
Advice
You don’t know the answers to everything, and you never will so just learn to live.
I have realized.
I have realized that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and most of the time I may not agree with someones full opinion, but I still respect it. Everyone has their own personal reasons to believe the things they do, just like I have reasons to believe the things I do. I like to know peoples opinions on things such as religion, sexuality, government, and abortion because it helps me see other perspectives other than just my own, I feel like it makes me more open minded to both sides of a topic.
